I am something mighty confused.

"Nothing really matters, anyone can see, nothing really matters... nothing really matters to me"


And for once, I am not in a rush to change or better myself.

I don't even explain myself or talk much outside of jokes, or things about the world I view as ugly. Someone told me, I was lucky cause, it seems my friends truly care for me and do shit to see me happy.


I Am HARSH, rude, lovely. All those things that matter. Cept I have no will to be a person, to practice what I learn. I miss the part of me that lied to make friends, that hid all those aspects of me that make me an outcast among freaks.


Love is the only thing in life I want to give up on. I hate the idea and more so the idea of everyday life. I have 4 friends, who I believe care about me... and I them.

People hate silence. Which is all I can offer at this point. I don't trust anything right now. And the very few times like this, where I wish I could talk to someone, I have no one that can or will listen at this time.

And all I can say "Let me out"

I miss being alive.

If I could have what I wanted, I could sing without fear.

If I was brave enough to admit, I would have never been used.

If I cared too much, I never cared at all.

If I never saw you again, I would not cry over it.

But the thought of the matter, Being alone is all I will ever truly know.

Friendship, and family, or work.



Nothing of my own. No ideas, unique. Expressed so wrong.

music in my head.....voices.............screams..pain.


And it never shuts down....its always there, telling me what to say....what have I done.....

To be stuck to an angel.....what I have done.....


I don't feel right, spending, sending messages. I rather never talk. difficult to say why. Silence is golden.



now it's time for us to let you go.

You can't have that which isn't yours.



I fucking dislike you for making me hate this month.

fuck you ?